My feelings toward you are no secret; we fight every day. Christmas 2011 was a particularly nasty brawl with all the misery you mercilessly brought my way. Remember that? And although you were glaringly obvious in my day to day life, with all your rude interruptions and bizarre ways, you hid yourself in every MRI, every cold exam room. You made a fool out of me by refusing to show your face.
By January, you had taken up residence in my brain, and while I’m pleased you found everything to your satisfaction, I found you to be a rather inconsiderate guest, you noxious, spirochetal bacteria. Like a corkscrew you drilled yourself into my cells, causing mass disarray. Relationships suffered, schooling ended, and a job was out of the question. But nine months and nearly 20 doctors later we nailed you, and began the strongest treatments available with the goal to kill you and your friends.
It’s been a year since then, and I think your stay here is becoming a bit more unpleasant. You’ve started to release your hold on my chest and that once-unrelenting vice grip on my head. My heart beats in a steadier rhythm now, my breaths come easier, and the room stays still, for the most part, too.
And even though I’d like to eradicate your kind from earth as we know it, after all I know of no purpose you serve, I would rather say thank you. Thank you toxins in my body. Thank you tick who bit me whose target was my selfishness, materialism, cynicism, and countless other diseases from which I was meant to slow down and heal. I’m told these are the real sicknesses, the ones that kill in the most final sense.
So despite your intent for evil, this will be made good. I will believe in the goodness of the Lord, and let my heart take courage while I wait for him to come. No strange symptom you throw my way will move my hope. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve read my Bible. I know seasons of sickness can turn into lifelong suffering. So should I find myself in that situation and we become permanent enemies, I will trust many lessons lie ahead as I learn to make this relationship work.
Take it easy on me, K?